Wedding ChurchHow do parents feel when their children announce their own divorce? How does that decision affect your siblings? There are relationships that you build and depend on outside of your own family and spouse when you marry or commit to someone. Does that new relationship just end the day you are no longer married? Is it okay with your own child that you continue to communicate with their ex-spouse?

In my own experience, it was very difficult for my ex-husband to let go of my family. We had shared so much with them and they were his family too. I was not very sympathetic to his feelings at the time and wanted my family to rally around me and me alone.

I remember the awkward moment at my former mother-in-law’s funeral when the family was sitting in a special room and my kids were there crying and I didn’t know if it would be okay for me to go into the room.   This was when I felt the divorce from his family the most.  My kids needed me to comfort them and yet I was somehow a stranger not invited in.

It is so important to remember that if you have children together, they are not divorcing their grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins — make sure to go out of your way to keep those connections vital to your children’s growth.  They need all the love and support that family members can bring.  They have the right to build adult relationships and make memories with your ex-spouse’s family.

As the years have gone by and I healed within my own self, I have remained good friends with my ex-husband who is and always will be the father of my children. While he does not see my family often, he is always a part of our conversations and included in all family events. He has never left our family and that has truly helped our children avoid having to pick which parent to be with and free to build their relationships with both families.

Please share your stories of family after the divorce by posting comments below.  I would love to hear how this situation was handled in your own life.



Divorced Couples Can Remain Friends

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Now that all four of our kids (yours, mine and ours) are grown and on their own, I can say that all of their parents did the best that they could. It was not easy and there are many things I would love to go back and do over but for the most part the […]

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Relationships Can Thrive When Dealing with Crisis

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When a relationship is free of crisis — it thrives.  When a relationship is in crisis it is tested and can continue to thrive. When we first start to date there is about a six month honeymoon period.   To continue that “great feeling” dating period, it is important to note that every relationship you […]

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Working Mom or Stay at Home Mom — Know The Family Finances

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One of the essential processes for filing paperwork with the court for a dissolution of marriage is gathering information on income, expenses, assets and debts.  I was always amazed when I heard the wife say that she knew nothing about the finances –she did not know how much the family income was and had no […]

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Divorce Affects Mom — The CEO of the Home

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One of the hardest life changes after a divorce is for the Mom whether working or stay at home.   A stay at home mom is the CEO of the home.  A working mom is the CEO of the home.  I was once given great advice when visiting Historical Homes — read the biography of […]

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Dads Cry Too After Divorce

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Sometimes we think that the husband and father going through a divorce does not cry.  I did not find that to be true in my law office experience and my personal experience.  Men try to be tough but at some point it all gets too much.  They are more than likely the one moving out […]

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Divorce and The Holidays

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The hardest month by far to work in a Family Law Practice is December.   It seemed that all the feelings of divorce had bubbled up to the surface and it was a competition to see who could win the battle of the holiday war.   The calls would come pouring in that someone was […]

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Judgment of Dissolution — Follow Up

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When your Judgment of Dissolution is finalized and you are legally a divorced couple, make sure you follow up on items that need to be addressed further.  Set up a meeting with your attorney of record and discuss the following: 1.  Retirement Accounts — if there are retirement accounts either through employment or held at […]

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Take Hold of Your Anger and Make it a Positive Life Force

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Anger stops progress.  Anger stops you from listening.  Anger ruins relationships over time.  Anger kills innocent people.  Take hold of your anger and make it a positive. Why are people so angry?  I see it every day.  Rudeness is not okay.  Pushing to the front of the line is not okay.  Yelling at your kids […]

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Planning Your Wedding — A Day To Last A Lifetime

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I just read about Kelly Clarkson and Brandon Blackstock’s wedding.  I was cheering loudly when Kelly announced that she was scrapping the expensive big wedding that was overwhelming her and her fiance for a simple day with no guests but Brandon’s children from his earlier marriage.  A wedding to model for sure–they did it their […]

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